Written by Mga Misis Ng WifeSpeaks on June 12, 2009 – 12:01 am
Last week, we talked about Money as a factor in a marriage. This week, we tackled another important factor - our in-laws. As we’ve seen from our posts this whole week, our relationship with our in-laws affects our marriage in many and various ways (or for some, not at all :D). It’s a tricky thing, though, because as much as we love and respect our in-laws, we also need the space to mold our own families independent of their influence.
The fact of the matter is, yes, we do marry the whole barangay and, it is ultimately a factor that we don’t have a lot of control of. And since this is so, how do you and your husband handle in-law-related conflicts if and when they arise?
Speak out po, mga misis. Besides, we have a lot of new (and struggling) newlyweds with in-law issues who can greatly benefit from your wisdom. 
our “technique” is simple. when it’s my family who is acting up, I handle it. and vice versa. of course, hubby and i talk about the issues together para we form a united front. pero yung face ko ang nakaharap sa family ko (and vice versa) para naman maiwasan yung mga “pakialamero” issues (i guess you can all understand the intricacies of family politics).
same thing if i have issues naman with his family, i would tell him about it and he handles it. or if he has some observations about my family, he would tell me, too, tapos ako naman ang magb-broach ng subject sa family ko.
kasi naman, even if hubby and i are married (and for all intents and purposes married to the family), there is still this boundary that divides you and them, and hubby and i know better to respect these lines. ngayon, if your husband doesn’t have the balls to put forth your concerns to his family, ibang usapan na yun, hehehe!
pero our rule of thumb is, if the actions and issues of our in-laws do not directly affect our little family (ako, hubby, and ninna), hindi na kami nakikialam. we don’t want to fan their flames any more than we want them meddling into our affairs - we have to learn to pick our battles.
You know, most of our fights are because of in-laws meddling into our business or spoiling my kids too much that they stop listening to me. As I mentioned in my blog a lot of times already, we never had any problems when in comes to finances or purchases. We both know what our priorities are, and we only indulge in luxury once in a blue moon.
One of the reason why we decided to move to Canada is to be away from in-laws. Hehehe.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my in-laws, but sometimes they can be annoying and interferes a lot especially when it comes to child rearing. I love the way my parents raise me and that’s what I am going to do with my kids. I’m not saying that there is something wrong with them raising my husband, he is almost perfect! But I do have problems with his other siblings who seems to not value the hard earned money of their parents. Oh well, that’s another story….
It has been one interesting topic, sad to say, I can’t or I don’t want to post my answers in my blog. “,)
Enjoy your weekend mga Misis!
JO’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #53: Fountains
Pareho tayo ng strategy, Meeya!
http://the-working-mom.blogspot.com/2009/06/marrying-in-laws.html
Joey’s last blog post..Higher Education